El Ultimo.

Mis querida Familia y Amigos,

First off - hope this doesn't get sent off too late, my companion
Sister Fink has been really sick and so I was given permission to
still write all of you all one last time after usual pday hours (so
don't worry I'm being exactly obedient until the very end).

In case you don't know Spanish the title of this week's email is "the
last". Next Wednesday we will be having a worldwide mission broadcast
(so incredible) and so pday will be on Thursday, the day I return
home. So this will be my last email I send to you all while serving as
a full-time missionary and representative of my Savior Jesus Christ. I
can't believe this day has come and that 18 months have passed so
fast. 6 weeks in Mexico and 18 weeks in each of my four areas went by
like a blink of an eye. Yet as I reflect back on that girl who hugged
her parents goodbye and set off on a journey 18 months ago...as I look
at the picture of my first day here in New York....I can hardly
recognize the girl on the other side of the picture. She has changed
and become and grown so much. Words will never be enough to describe
my experience as a missionary. If only this little black nametag that
I hold so dear could record the miracles, the struggles, the tender
moments with complete stranger, and the life of a missionary... But
only the one who walked the entire journey with me could ever know of
its sacred significance.

This week was really amazing. We were blessed as a mission this past
Saturday to have Elder Holland visit. Usually he's known for his
powerful crying of repentance and obedience to missionaries. But our
visit was so sacred, so special. As he shook each of our hands he had
a personal interview with us (via the spirit). He said that he was so
proud of our mission and didn't feel he needed to address any
problems. He spent the next few hours walking amidst us, teaching and
testifying, even joking. It felt so normal to have an apostle of the
Lord in our midst. Yet at the same time the Spirit was so strong, I
can't even begin to describe it. It was such a tender mercy,
especially as a prepare to enter my next "transfer", a new adventure
ahead. As he testified of the love He holds for missionaries, calling
us "apostles with a lower case a" I was overcome with emotion. This
calling I've held for the past 18 months means EVERYTHING to me. I've
given my all, and it's been hard. But as a Elder Holland told us,
salvation isn't cheap and we are in the work of saving SOULS. This is
the dispensation of missionary work both for the living and the dead.
The work is hastening and we can never be the same. Once we have
experienced the things we have, we can't go back to our nets, we must
always move forward. This gospel is one of eternal progression.

I've had a lot of time to ponder and reflect this week. During my exit
interview on Monday and then today having the chance to go to the
temple with the missionaries returning home and President & Sister
Smith. Sitting in the celestial room I came across this scripture in
the Spanish BOM and it was so simple and powerful I chose it for my
ponderize scripture of the week 2 Nephi 4:16 "Behold, my soul
delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth
continually upon the things which I have seen and heard." Afterward we
also were able to participate in sealings (my first time ever). There
have been so many special, sacred experiences that I will forever hold
dear and that I will ponder in my heart continually. I wish I could
explain my feelings more but I just can't. Maybe as I tell you each in
person you can begin to understand a piece of it, but it's okay if
not, it's in my heart.

As President Smith has mentioned in the past - the last week of the
Savior's life was one most recorded and written about, it was full of
miracles and the atonement. Incredible and life changing moments
happened in His final days. As a representative of Jesus Christ I
promise I will try to uphold the standard and make my last week
serving has a missionary full of miracles, and I will put all my
strength in until the very end!! I know I won't be able to write again
of the miracles of my last week, but I hope next time I see each of
you in person I can testify of what has happened.

I love you all dearly. I hope you have the best week ever wherever you
may be in the world. Some of you I will see and hug so soon, others I
promise to continue writing and remember to keep working hard! :) One
of my favorite humans once said "Missionaries are just disciples with
a nametag",  I promise to continue to be a disciple of Christ for the
rest of my life, even after the name tag is gone. I have been changed
for good. I will never go back, I will never be the same

Con Amor,
Hermana Smart